LEARN TO SPEAK

"For all INTENTS AND PURPOSES" NOT

"For all INTENSIVE PURPOSES"

"Couldn't HAVE" NOT

"Couldn't OF"

Doesnt Language make a lot more sense now people? Or don't people THINK about what they say? And not just about the meaning they want to convey, but which words in which order may actually make sense and help to convey your point to the other person or people participating in the conversation?

Finally, if asked "Do you want Lettuce, Tomato and Onion?", saying

"NO, JUST sour cream and avocado" instead of

"YES, AND sour cream and avocado"

WILL NOT GET YOU SOUR F***ING CREAM AND AVOCADO!

Two Red lights and a Dodgy P.A.

Well I've spent the last two nights in a row at Jupiter's, gorging myself at the Aqua bar so much that I don't need breakfast or lunch the next day. After the first visit, John implied that I had a gambling problem by copying and pasting "Blow up the Pokies" by the Whitlams intot he comments field at Ben's Blog, but after the second visit I think he might have a point.

I just can't stop myself. All those flashing lights, wonderful noises, the thrill of those few moments before the wheel stops spinning...I get in there and some gambling devil takes control of me. I actually lost ALL of my money over the course of those two nights on the wheel alone.

It only came to $7.50, but that's not the point. The point is that Angus, Maverick, Chvonn and Mercedes (my imaginary bogan children) will be going hungry and shoeless because of my addiction. I'm a terrible father.

My Birthday is Soon!

Things it's probably not too late to get me. Options in Bold are the most preferred:

1. xkcd shirts! Specifically "Stand back! I'm going to try Science!", "Science: It works Bitches!" and "No Raptors"
2. Dinosaur Comics Shirts! "Not all dreams can come true", "Feelings are Boring. Kissing is Awesome", "Professor Science", "Failure is Just Success Rounded Down"
3. Questionable Content Shirts! "Evolution Kills"
4. Dr. McNinja Shirts! "High Five", "Ninjas Can't Catch You if You're on Fire", "Raptor Bandits"*, "WW(Batman Symbol)D?"
5. Dr McNinja Poster! It's Pure Awesome! Signed version, if possible?
6. Transformers G1 Box Sets! I'm missing 1, 2 and 3. I have 4, 5 and 6. Why do I own them in the wrong order? Because the movie happened in between Box 3 and Box 4, and essentially became a new starting point. Speaking of the movie...
7. Transformers Movie! The 2007 release has been shotgunned by Mum, but the 1984 cartoon movie was just released as a special 20th Anniversary Edition, which Laura totally sold at TRU for a while.
8. Cool Stuff! You know, anything that will distract me from life/study for a while.
9. A PS3. My own firetruck. Superpowers. World Peace, an end to world hunger and all the stuff I'm contractually obligated to include in a wish list by my conscience.

If you know anyone who's wondering what to get me, you should direct them here.

*I am aware that this shirt violates the earlier "No Raptors" policy.

I am so procrastinating right now...

It's Lecture Recess, and I've just burned through ANOTHER 2 WEEKS worth of HDB, leaving me with only 3 to go before I am completely up-to-date with everything. At 1-1.5 hours of work per week, it looks like I'm gonna be enjoying the Lecture Recess earlier than expected.

For those unfortunate enough not to have such a cruisy time, here are some webcomics you may use to take your mind off important things.

Dr. McNinja: My newest, all-time favourite comic ever as of today.
xkcd: We all know it already anyway, but it's awesome
Dinosaur Comics! Featurin' T-Rex. He's a pretty sweet dude ok?
Questionable Content Obscure Indie jokes that I don't understand, but sarcasm aplenty!

In other news, we should all write our own webcomic. And then hire someone to draw it for us.

Or go to the beach sometime. I'm bored, I'll take whatever I can get.

Truth for Youth!

I have just found what is simultaneously the most hilarious yet depressing thing on the Internet: The Truth for Youth Bible! Spewing forth their usual garbage about Evolution is crap, Science is Wrong, Rock'n'Roll is the Devil's playground and Homosexuality is a sin, as well as genuinely new information such as "Safe Sex is wrong" (seriously) and "Pornography makes you a terrible husband and possible wifebeater", neither of which are actually supported by evidence in any respected reviews anywhere (although get a lot of support from the kind of reviews who claim A Flood Caused Geography, which are generally only read by people who already think the same thing...)

But is this just an irate atheist's crusade against religion? Does Joe just have it in for christians? He must do, after all, how could this book be wrong with testimonials such as this:

"This young man from Columbus, GA received a Truth For Youth Bible, read the comic on Rock Music, went home and threw all of his "Spice Girl" posters and CD's in the trash!"

Yeah, sure, that's the reason a grown man threw out his Spice Girl CDs...

100% Pure Awesome

Go Ahead. Just try to think of something cooler.

You couldn't resist it, could you?

If you saw the news headline "British Dwarf's Penis Gets Stuck In Vaccuum Cleaner", you couldn't resist reading it, could you?

Go on, click the link. You know you want to.