MSN is Closing
Hey, It's John McFakename here from MSN.
Due to a combination of Global Warming, the Aging Population, Reality TV and Fat Children, MSN will be closing down shortly. I have chosen to inform you of this fact by sending a message to my entire contact list and trusting them to forward it on, as i know that this method of doing things is far more reliable than that silly newsletter we send everybody with a hotmail account - and therefore everybody who would need to know this - every month.
I would also like to announce that rather than ask you to pay if you wish to keep your MSN account, we have simply decided to close every MSN account and bill the lot of you at a rate of $8 per day since your account was opened. While this may not seem much, we will also be billing you $2 for every time you forwarded something that ended with a threat to someone's life, love life or safety. Please note that sending messages containing lines in the vein "Forward this or else..." would normally be considered either blackmail or worse, and so in the scheme of things we're actually being quite generous. we will also be charging you an additional $20 for every time you forwarded a "hotmail is closing" email, as you were helping to perpetuate a lie about the MSN company. Note that we will also charge you for forwarding this one, as it would be much more entertaining for us to imagine the looks on all your faces when you receive your bills.
Finally, we wish to advise you that this email is protected by a curse so ancient that it doesnt even belong to a culture, whereby anyone who fails to forward this message will have eggs laid in their eyes by spiders. You will then develop a billion papercuts all over your body and begin to sweat vinegar. Finally, everytime you go near another person a ghostly voice will shout abuse at them, preventing you from having any friends or any sort of love life at all.
Signed
Management
Due to a combination of Global Warming, the Aging Population, Reality TV and Fat Children, MSN will be closing down shortly. I have chosen to inform you of this fact by sending a message to my entire contact list and trusting them to forward it on, as i know that this method of doing things is far more reliable than that silly newsletter we send everybody with a hotmail account - and therefore everybody who would need to know this - every month.
I would also like to announce that rather than ask you to pay if you wish to keep your MSN account, we have simply decided to close every MSN account and bill the lot of you at a rate of $8 per day since your account was opened. While this may not seem much, we will also be billing you $2 for every time you forwarded something that ended with a threat to someone's life, love life or safety. Please note that sending messages containing lines in the vein "Forward this or else..." would normally be considered either blackmail or worse, and so in the scheme of things we're actually being quite generous. we will also be charging you an additional $20 for every time you forwarded a "hotmail is closing" email, as you were helping to perpetuate a lie about the MSN company. Note that we will also charge you for forwarding this one, as it would be much more entertaining for us to imagine the looks on all your faces when you receive your bills.
Finally, we wish to advise you that this email is protected by a curse so ancient that it doesnt even belong to a culture, whereby anyone who fails to forward this message will have eggs laid in their eyes by spiders. You will then develop a billion papercuts all over your body and begin to sweat vinegar. Finally, everytime you go near another person a ghostly voice will shout abuse at them, preventing you from having any friends or any sort of love life at all.
Signed
Management
posted by Joe at 1:43 AM
5 Comments:
Woooooh, endless pain!
Coffee is your friend
it's funny cos it's true. once someone sent a email about how my hotmail account will be shutdown... to my gmail account. riiiiiight. I might do a post actually about coffee at coffee and other soon
I dont thin this is true. This is been said since more than 3 years now and its just a prank i read about it once.
umm....?
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