It's not an Audition; It's a Catfight!

1/11/88 - My birthday. Apparently some people can't remember their own birthday, but not me. Oh no. How someone couldn't know their own birthday confuses me, but not as much as the pussycat dolls' new tv show.

That's right, they got a TV show. Apparently to search for a new member. I'm not sure if something's happened to one of them, or if they decided that 5 superfluous members just wasn't enough. I mean, come on, have you ever heard anyone besides that lead chick sing? Then again, the rest of them do have the very important, socially relevant, pro-feminist job of wearing very little and dancing seductively. Not being objectified at all are you Dolls? That's right, people take you seriously as artists...

And I'm bored, so i'll just wish Ben a Happy Last Few Hours of His Birthday and then go to sleep. Cya

Jobs I Invented

Spoon Trainer
Shower Planner
Long-distance Engineer
Hammock Tester
Battery Counsellor
Textbook Tuner
Relationship Artist
Scissor Critic
CD Therapist
Relaxation Officer
Telephone Driver
Cowhive Cleaner
Card Mechanic

Screw University!

Ok, so I know specialists get paid alot because they've spent so many years working with one very small thing that they're clueless about anything else and therefore only have that to rely on as a source of income (It's true and you all know it. It'll be how I earn my money one day), but seriously; If I need you to dish out a portion of your tremendously specific knowledge because I happen to lack it, my ego is bruised enough already. Don't add to it by charging me $300 for 3 hours labour.

Seriously! The wiring between my alternator and my battery has a portion of high resistance, which is why the battery hasnt been charging and the car's been acting so strangely. So I call up the autoelectrician to fix it, they drive off and then charge me $77 per hour they work on the car. DOCTORS don't make that much per hour, and the things we mess around with can screw you over more than some dodgy wiring in a 16-year-old car can.

But apparently not as much as the Auto-electrician can.

Welcome Rory!!!

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It's freakin' sweet!

Refect Ramblings

Things we've decided we'd eventually like to do with our lives while sitting in the refect:

1. Produce TV shows such as "Pimp my Sermon" or "Kung-Fu Lumberjack Vs The Pimp Ninja". These would obviously be huge hits. You can't tell me you wouldn't watch them at least once.

2. Become editor of Cosmo for a month for the sole purpose of modifying the "Sex tips" section to contain hints such as "Squeeze a Lemon in your own eye to REALLY get him going" or "Wearing googly-eyes all over your chest will make him want you more" just to see if any of the women actually do it.

3. Have "Play that funky music white boy" played at our funerals. Alternate songs include "Highway to hell" or "The devil came down to Georgia"

4. Design a bridge/ferris wheel out of varying sorts of lollies.

5. I will become a supervillain by night and a superhero by day. Someone else would be a hero by night and a villain by day, and we'd spend all our time foiling each other's schemes.

6. Cure cancer to fund our many insane endeavours. As well as so we could hide it and then exclaim "oh look, we've found the cure to cancer!" as a joke. Oh, and to help sick people. But mostly the first two.