Two wheels are not better than one!

Some things you may not know about Unicycles:

• The name "Unicycle" comes from the Greek "Uni" - meaning "Student" - and "Cyclos" - meaning "Repeatedly Falling Over"
• Two Unicycles are not necessarily cheaper than a single bike
• Learning to ride on the concrete is easier than on grass, and more extreme
• All professionals are female. Or sterile.
• It is far easier to fall off a unicycle than a bike. It is also far easier to beat someone with a unicycle.
• You cannot look dignified and ride at the same time. You can try, but it just looks ridiculous.
• Unicycles are awesome.

Holy Missing Persons List Batman!

Ben, where are you?

Laura and I, and doubtless many others, have noted that you have not been signed in to messenger of late, and it has quite frankly disturbed us. Even if you are set to "Busy", "Away" or some other status, and whether you are actually at the computer or not, your continual "Online" status is a constant, something we have become accustomed to. It's our rock, Ben.

That's right, I said it.

I mean, we may share the most awesome unicycle in the world, but where are we really without Ben's comforting presence? It's like a Christian would feel if one day God abandoned them.

Yes I did just compare you to God. Now just tell us where you are!!!

Note to other blog readers: Please forgive my flattering of Ben's ego, but I'm curious and thought this was the best way to get his attention. I know you're all as curious as we are.

CHRISTMAS TOMORROW!!!

It's Christmas Eve!

Sadly I'm broke this year, so most people didn't get a present. It doesn't mean I don't love you anymore, it means I can't afford to hang out with you anymore (despite winning the lotto). So hopefully the knowledge that you're at the higher end of the friendship market makes up for the lack of presents.

I had something I was going to rant about, but I have forgotten what that is. Plus it's Christmas Eve, and this should be a happy occasion. So I'll leave it at this:

Merry Christmas

Life Lessons

Well, I've just come off a few weeks placement, so my holidays officially begin tomorrow (i.e one hour from now), unlike some of you who've been enjoying them - or at least have them to be miserable in - for the last two weeks. Not that it wasn't fun, oh no. I learnt quite a lot on this placement.

Things I learnt on placement:

• ALWAYS check how long you are allowed to park somewhere. The Council are bastards and they will fine you stupidly large amounts if you happen to misread a 2P sign.
• Faxes cost $4 at Australia Post. You cannot EFTPOS that amount, but you can ask for that amount of cash out, and then use it to pay. How screwy is that? Useful and cheap, but also screwy.
• The Hard Rock Cafe outclasses the Refect so badly it's like watching a full-colour widescreen movie with dolby surround after a lifetime of being blindfolded in a dark room. You'd never go back, but the man with the gun is forcing you to.
• Buying people mudcake will make you their hero for as long as the cake and the sugar rush it induces lasts. Generally that's all the time you need, but further chocolatey goodness can be distributed if more is required.
• The fastest you can get from the Mater to the Dance North Studio is 11 minutes with favourable traffic. But you can contest that if you want.
• Never wear a steak necklace if you are expecting a lion in the mail.

Notice very few of those had anything to do with a lab at all? Oh well

Nokia, I'll mock-ya

So you know that phone I have with the really masculine phone case? Yeah, well it died on thursday. I'm not sure why, but I'm certain that it's NOKIA's fault. The logic is something like this:

• Nokia make Phones
• Nokia control the quality of the phones they make
• If they sell more phones, they make more money
• People get new phones when their old ones die
• Therefore the dodgier the phones they make, the more they sell, the more money they get

Satan himself could not think of a more evil plot. I'm fairly certain he was involved at the design stage somewhere. The man-purse looks to be his work.

So now I need a new phone. I may just stick to Lazarus (My indestructible Nokia 3315 from back before Nokia lost their way...) for a while, given my current financial situation. But if anyone wants to buy me one for any reason at all, or can reccommend one (you may recall a similar post on Laura's blog), please do.

Yours alphabetically,

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